I'm not the one who truly understands your pain.

regrets...

2009-11-26T14:26:56Z

Since glm beat me to posting The Muppets do Bohemian Rhapsody this morning, I decided to post this instead:

Bad sleepy during the week...

2009-11-14T23:14:07Z

...equals strangely dead on weekends.

Can you believe I've already started my Christmas baking?

I must be freaking out of my mind.

My lunch experiment

2009-11-12T21:01:23Z

2 cups packaed broccoli slaw (julienned cabbage, carrotts, broccoli)
1/2 cup cubed leftover deboned & deskinned rotisserie chicken
1/8 cup sultanas
1/8 cup dried cranberries
1 oz cashews

4 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp light mayo
1 tbsp creole mustard
a tsp of something sweet (honey, sugar, brown sugar, in my case, splenda)
1 tsp grated fresh ginger
salt to taste

Throw it all in a bowl, mix it all up and eat it fresh.

Yum!

If I could find my damn camera, I'd show you, along with my snazzy new hair, but alas.

From Calvin Trillin

2009-10-16T04:44:43Z

A youthful error? Yes, perhaps.
But he's been punished for this lapse--
For decades exiled from LA
He knows, as he wakes up each day,
He'll miss the movers and the shakers.
He'll never get to see the Lakers.
For just one old and small mischance,
He has to live in Paris, France.
He's suffered slurs and other stuff.
Has he not suffered quite enough?
How can these people get so riled?
He only raped a single child.

Why make him into some Darth Vader
For sodomizing one eighth grader?
This man is brilliant, that's for sure--
Authentically, a film auteur.
He gets awards that are his due.
He knows important people, too--
Important people just like us.
And we know how to make a fuss.
Celebrities would just be fools
To play by little people's rules.
So Roman's banner we unfurl.
He only raped one little girl.

What I did on my summer vacation...

2009-08-27T14:17:50Z

Oh the cutemanity!
Originally uploaded by spaceanddeath

So ages ago charmingmonstrs posted about Operation Sock Monkey in support of Clowns Without Borders South Africa. It rained a lot on vacation and so these little guys kept me busy. They will accompany a clown travelling to Africa to provide psychosocial support for children who are HIV + and will stay with the kids afterwards.

They're cute, if I do say so myself. I hope the kids like them. If you're interested in sponsoring one of them to go, you can do so on the OSM home page (link above).

Twisty nails it.

2009-06-22T11:06:51Z

This...

"...mocking members of oppressed classes simply because they exhibit the characteristics of their oppression is pretty fucking vulgar."

Fuck yes.

I've been trying to find a way to articulate that this succinctly for a long time.

Job

2009-06-10T18:49:07Z

May have a line on a contract job available for someone with an IT background - looking for someone in Ontario or Quebec with Business Analyst skills and preferably a degree in Software Engineering. Bonus if you have a telco background. Must be a fast learner.

Lemme know if you know a good candidate.

So depressing.

2009-05-22T06:01:34Z

Stolen from otheronetruegod

2009-05-05T04:36:21Z

My lord, I almost fell ff my chair.

And thus marks the end of my vacation.

"corrective rape" in South Africa

2009-03-16T20:44:25Z

(Trigger warning: not for the faint of heart.)

South African women are exposed to one of the highest rape rates the world over. 500,000 a year. 1 in 25 men brought to trial are convicted. Even those that are convicted rarely see any kind of time.

But singled out in the middle of it all are lesbians who are subjected to "corrective rape" to set them straight.

There really are no words to describe my rage right this moment.

See the reports in The Guardian, The Telegraph, and Independant Online.

Thanks to peaseblossom...

2009-02-09T00:15:47Z

This made me teary, and really, very angry.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Nujood Ali

2009-02-09T00:04:53Z

10 year old Nujood Ali was forced into marriage, beaten, raped, and all on her own ran away and secured her own divorce.

Jesus.

Well done, kid.

Gulabi Gang

2009-01-28T00:00:09Z

Sampat Devi Pal is my hero of today.

Want the best job in the world?

2009-01-22T09:34:47Z

Literally.

Island Caretaker Great Barrier Reef

About the job:

Tourism Queensland is seeking applicants for the best job in the world! The role of Island Caretaker is a six-month contract, based on luxurious Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef. It’s a live-in position with flexible working hours and key responsibilities include exploring the islands of the Great Barrier Reef to discover what the area has to offer.

You’ll be required to report back on your adventures to Tourism Queensland headquarters in Brisbane (and the rest of the world) via weekly blogs, photo diary, video updates and ongoing media interviews. On offer is a unique opportunity to help promote the wondrous Islands of the Great Barrier Reef.

Other duties may include (but are not limited to):

-Feed the fish - There are over 1,500 species of fish living in the Great Barrier Reef. Don’t
worry – you won’t need to feed them all.
-Clean the pool - The pool has an automatic filter, but if you happen to see a stray leaf
floating on the surface it’s a great excuse to dive in and enjoy a few laps.
-Collect the mail – During your explorations, why not join the aerial postal service for a
day? It’s a great opportunity to get a bird’s eye view of the reef and islands.

About the job package:

-Living above the Great Barrier Reef is a pretty unique benefit, but the successful candidate will also be paid a salary package of AUD $150,000 for the six-month contract.
-You’ll receive return airfares from your nearest capital city (in your home country), accommodation and transport on Hamilton Island, travel insurance for the contract period, computer, internet, digital video and stills cameras access, plus travel to a number of the other Islands of the Great Barrier Reef.
-The six-month contract commences 1st July 2009.

About the location:

Stretching for 2,600 kilometres, and composed of over 2,900 individual reefs and 900 islands, the Great Barrier Reef in Queensland, Australia is the world’s largest coral reef system. The World Heritage Listed area supports a diversity of wildlife including whales, dolphins, sea turtles and more than 1,500 species of fish. The reef is an extremely popular destination for tourists, sustainably managing approximately 2 million visitors each year.

Education/Experience Requirements:

A broad range of experience will be considered, but the successful applicant should
posses:

- Excellent interpersonal communication skills
- Good written and verbal English skills
- An adventurous attitude
- Willingness to try new things
- A passion for the outdoors
- Good swimming skills and enthusiasm for snorkelling and/or diving
- Ability to engage with others
- At least one year’s relevant experience

How to apply:

Want the best job in the world? If you enjoy new experiences and you can spare six months to enjoy life above the Great Barrier Reef, you’re already in with a good chance. It’s easy to apply.

Step 1: Create a video application (in English and in 60 seconds or less) telling us why you’re the best person for the job and demonstrating your knowledge of the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef.

Step 2: Fill out a brief application form and upload your video to www.islandreefjob.com. Applications close 11.59pm UTC 22nd February 2009 Applications open on 2.00pm UTC 9th January and close 11.59pm UTC 22nd February 2009.

About the application process:

Eleven candidates will be invited to the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef for an interview from the 3rd to the 7th May 2009. So, if you want the best job in the world, you’ll need to be available to travel to Queensland for the final interview selection process. You’ll also need to be available to start work on the 1st July 2009.

Tourism Queensland will select ten candidates. Visitors to www.islandreefjob.com will have the chance to select one Wild Card candidate, who will also participate in the final interview selection process.

All applicants must be eligible for a short term business visa for the interview selection process and a long term temporary employee visa for the contract period.
For more information and to apply please visit www.islandreefjob.com.

Small Things Challenge

2009-01-12T05:39:37Z

Hey y'all, take a second and check out the Small Things Challenge, where Intel will donate by click (much like thehungersite) to Kiva and Save the Children.

Brand made me do it.

2008-12-16T19:30:56Z

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line two-ish lines, one isn't enough to go on, from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game post your own.

~~1. You with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged. Oh, I realize it's hard to take courage.~~noizangel
~~2. If you need me, call me. No matter where you are, no matter how far, just call my name.~~noizangel
3. Radio play me all the time, write my own rhymes and I swear I'm fly. This flow here from '83, from A to Z you can't fuck with me.
4. I was a fool to believe, a fool to believe it all ends today. Yes it all ends today.
5. Hello. Did you miss me? I know I'm hard to resist. Y'all can come and help me pick the sweetcorn out of this.
~~6. Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk. Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born.~~joane
7. I feel upset. Let's do some celebrating. Come on honey, don't hesitate now. Needed you, you withdrew, I was so forsaken.
8. Don't let the silence get you down, though you've been sittin' here for hours, hoping a voice could soon be found that speaks much louder that this music. If you're a little off colour and out for the count, don't let it get you down.
9. Goodbye to the summer. Sold down the river, unhappy ever after - well did you ever?
10. I'm ahead, I'm a man, I'm the first mammal to wear pants, yeah. I'm at peace with my lust I can kill 'cause in God I trust, yeah.
11. That finance man took my big car away. That finance man took my big car away. Didn't have my money, couldn't make my payment today.
12. I haven't fucked much with the past, but I've fucked plenty with the future. Over the skin of silk are scars from the splinters of stations and walls I've caressed.
13. Hello. Nobody's home. Leave a message after the beep and somebody'll get back to you.
~~14. It's because of you there's a Giant in our midst and my Wife is dead! But it isn't my fault, I was given those beans! You persuaded me to trade away my cow for beans!~~joane
15. I can see myself it's a golden sunrise, young boy open up your eyes it's supposed to be your day. Now off you go horizon bound, and you won't stop until you've found your own kind of way.
16. I have tried to understand I have tried to be a better man. But your world's too hard to see and your words are killing me.
17. Even if you don't dig it, don't mean it's not the thing or thing to do - it could be just for you. Even if you don't feel it, right now don't mean someday it'll turn you out - you'll be out of sight!
18. No you didn't just leave, I actually kicked you out. I couldn't hardly believe that the words came out my mouth.
19. Murphy, Murphy, darling dear, I long for you now night and day. Your pain was my pleasure, your sorrow my joy, I feel now I've lost you to health and good cheer.
~~20. I'm broke but I'm happy. I'm poor but I'm kind. I'm short but I'm healthy. Yeah!~~joane

Get the funk out....

2008-10-23T22:37:43Z

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

From a teacher in NOLA:

2008-10-20T14:58:24Z

"Our students are afraid of rain. A heavy morning shower can cut attendance in half. I once had a student write an essay about her experience in the Superdome. She wrote, without explanation, that she lost her memory when she lost her grandmother in the storm. I was supposed to correct the grammar, so that she would be prepared for state testing in the spring. "

In other NOLA news, termites have infested the levees.

Adventuring Party Politics: The Campaign is Getting Ugly

2008-10-20T02:45:39Z

GM: OK, the bugbear attacks you. What do you do?

OBAMA: I send one of my 672 henchmen after it.

MCCAIN: OK, seriously. Why does he have so many henchmen? I'm a level 72 ranger and he's only a level 8 paladin.

OBAMA: Well, if you'd bought the Grassroots Organizing and Oratory/Colgate Smile proficiencies you could min max it so that you...

MCCAIN: Why is he even IN this campaign? I thought this was supposed to be a high level party.

OBAMA: Well, maybe some people got tired of the grim and squinty "Matterhorn, son of Marathon" shtick you keep doing. Dude, could you be any less original?

MCCAIN: Oh my god, I did not leave my left nut in a tiger cage in the Tomb of Horrors to spend my Friday nights mopping up after the new kid.

OBAMA: "My friends, I am a totally unoriginal grizzled character class stereotype. I should lead the party because I have more testicular damage than that one."

MCCAIN: Yeah, well, you pal around with dark elves.

OBAMA: OH NO YOU DIDN'T.

MCCAIN: Whatever, so's your mom.

OBAMA: So's your FACE.

MCCAIN: So's your Mom's face!

HILARY: WTF you guys. Why am I playing the cleric?

MCCAIN: Hilary, we've been over this.

HILARY: No, dude. I am so sick of being the girlfriend healer. Seriously, I can't even use a sword. Fuck this noise.

KUCINICH: IM A BARD

OBAMA: That's nice.

KUCINICH: MY FAMILIAR IS A PURPLE SNOW LEOPARD

MCCAIN: Oh, Jesus. Here we go.

KUCINICH: DID I MENTION MY WIFE IS A TOTALLY BANGIN DRYAD WITH 20 CHARISMA

HILARY: C'mon you guys, I've been playing this shit since Gygax was in eighth grade. Why can't I be the party leader with the magic sword for once?

MCCAIN: Because no one wants to see you in a bronze bra.

OBAMA: Oh dude, BURRRRRNNNN.

HILARY: SCREW YOU, Grandpa. I will so kick your ass.

MCCAIN: Yeah? Bring it! I didn't spend 3 years in the Abyss with Githzerai hooking my nads up to a car battery to get beat by some Wellesley girl.

HILARY: WHATEVER, you can't even lift your arms over your head.

RON PAUL: I brought my Planescape character!

OBAMA: Dude, we're playing Forgotten Realms.

RON PAUL: I rift in from Sigil! I'm a Chaotic Neutral Tiefling Barbarian/Monk/Rogue!

MCCAIN: DUDE, that is not even LEGAL.

RON PAUL: Ronpaul the Barbarian say: suck it! Guns and abortions and weed for everyone! WHEEE!

PALIN: Hi folks! Sorry I'm late! I brought caribou burgers.

HILARY: Who the HELL is this?

MCCAIN: It's cool, she's with me.

HILARY: No! No, it's not cool! Every time you bring one of your rodeo-queen girlfriends in here she ends up playing some succubus infiltrator and killing the whole party!

MCCAIN: Now, that is patently untrue.

BIDEN: He has a point. Cindy turned out to be a vampire.

MCCAIN: DUDE. SHUT UP.

GM: You guys, seriously, if you don't knock it off with the bickering I'm going to start docking XP.

MCCAIN: You know what? Fuck it. I'm suspending the campaign.

GM: You can't do that! Only I can suspend the campaign! I didn't suspend it for the 1988 Mountain Dew shortage and I'm not going to suspend it now.

KUCINICH: YOU GUYS I AM TOTALLY CASTING A CANTRIP

MCCAIN: Oh my god, Dennis, shut up, you don't even count.

KUCINICH: YOU GUYS ARE DICKS

BIDEN: Where are the Cheetos?

RON PAUL: Wait. What happen to tiny Mormon Man?

GM: You find Mitt's lifeless, drained corpse has been stuffed in the broom closet.

HILARY: Oh, God DAMMIT.

MCAIN: Not ok! NOT OK!

OBAMA: What, I didn't even get a detect evil roll for that one?

HILARY: I TOLD you she was a succubus, but did anyone listen? Oohhhhh no, Hilary's just jealous of the beauty queen.

RON PAUL: Pretty Lady screw Mitt lifeless. Ronpaul SMASH!!

MCCAIN: Would you please go light up a spliff and stay out of this? The grown ups are talking.

RON PAUL: Why pretty lady suck life out of Mitt and not Ronpaul? Not fair!

HILARY: I mean, never mind that I'm the one with 17 Wisdom, but does anyone listen to the girl? Noooooo.

RON PAUL: Also Mitt have stupid name. Who name kid after baseball equipment?

KUCINICH: HAY YOU GUYS CHECK OUT MY HEAD OF VECNA TRICK

HILARY: This never would have happened when Tim Russert was our GM.

GM: You know what? Forget it. Rocks fall, everyone dies.

OBAMA: Screw you guys. I'm going to go play Bunnies and Burrows at Jon Stewart's house.

HILARY: Me too.

MCCAIN: Me too.

KUCINICH: GAZEBO!

LOLminals are my secret shame.

2008-10-16T13:26:58Z

Hee!

Food meme

2008-10-14T19:48:57Z

Here are the directions

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Add one thing to the list you have eaten that you doubt anyone on your flist will have eaten.

~~1. Venison~~ (likely allergic)
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
~~4. Steak tartare~~ (allergic)
5. Crocodile (but I've had alligator)
~~6. Black pudding~~ (allergic)
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari (uck)
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream (yick)
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras (yick)
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche (Oh... Brazil... I miss you!)
28. Oysters (yick)
29. Baklava (yum!)
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float (prefer cola)
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
~~40. Oxtail~~ (allergic)
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects (Tequilla Worm, hot ants)
43. Phaal (just a taste)
44. Goat’s milk (in yogurt and cheese)
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth $120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala (will never be the same after experiencing at the Hyd Mahal.... too good!)
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal (when I was a kid)
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (what is this?)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
~~68. Haggis~~ (allergic and well... god no)
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette (no, but andouille yes)
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
~~75. Roadkill~~ (um... ew?)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant. - No but I have at a DiRoNA choice or Zagat rated
~~85. Kobe beef~~ (allergic)
86. Hare - no, but rabbit
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
~~89. Horse~~
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor (cockroach of the sea)
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

And my addition:

Piranha

They're already sold out, but...

2008-10-04T20:40:02Z

LOL!

2008-10-04T19:47:07Z

For charmingmonstrs...

2008-09-16T05:17:07Z

I thought of you when I saw Jennifer Rogers' funky invitations....

Looking at you, noondaypaisley....

2008-09-15T04:39:37Z

Sound halfway familiar?

Swimming Cities of Switchback Sea is a flotilla of seven hand-crafted
vessels that have navigated 140 miles of the Hudson River, from Troy to New
York City. The rafts and boats provide a set for a series of performances
staged in several ports. There are two shows left in New York.

The Swimming Cities is designed and organized by printmaker and installation artist Swoon. Collaborators include playwright Lisa D'Amour, the band Dark Dark Dark and circus composer Sxip Shirey. Tonight and tomorrow are the final two shows of the performance given in towns along the river.

http://switchbacksea.org/

One of my few regrets in life is that Ship of Fooles never made it's maiden voyage.